Motherhood is beautiful and it has its up and downs. A lot of times I question myself, things like am I good mom? How can I be a good mom?
Have you ever googled anything related to parenting?
I’ve googled things like:
– my toddler has bright green poop
– best snacks for kids
– how to start a bedtime routine
And even this….
– I can’t stand my 3 year old
In all honesty, the 3 year old (well she’s 4 now) gives me a run for my money. If she would have been born first, she’d be an only child.
Some people laugh when I say that.
But I’m soooo serious!
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mother.
But I have days where I believe I’m probably the worst mom in the world.
Days when I think I have probably messed my kids up for life.
Do you ever feel like that?
I know I’m not a bad mom. And you’re not either. But I do believe that sometimes we moms put ourselves on the back burner. We give and give until there’s nothing left. And that’s when I a burn out happens.
That’s when you find yourself locked in the bathroom with a glass of wine, crying and googling things, desperate for answers and insights from other moms….
*Sigh* Or maybe that was just me. Based on my many hours of “googling” though, I know I’m not alone.
Related articles that will help you with parenting:
- Self Care For Moms
- 7 Easy Ways To Be A Positive Mom
- 3 Ted Talks To Inspire You To Be Positive & Successful
HOW CAN YOU BE A GOOD MOM?
Replenish yourself.
You do so much for everyone. You’re the foundation of your family. You set appointments. You cook and clean. You get the kids to school. You’re the nurse when they need one. A teacher when it’s time to do homework. You shop for groceries. And you probably work full time.
Taking time for yourself is essential. Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Here are realistic self care ideas you can do at home even if your kids are around. 
Show your kids love.
How? Find out their love language. I had my kids take the Love Language Profile and found what things make them feel loved the most. I was really surprised how different the results were for each kid.
My son’s feels most loved when we perform Acts of Service, spend Quality Time with him and speak Words of Affirmation. He didn’t score high for Receiving Gifts and scored 0 for Physical Touch.
My oldest daughter feels love when we spend Quality Time with her, Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts.
This test showed me where I was lacking in showing my kids love. I feel love with Acts of Service. I want help around the house because that helps me relax and gives me back time in my day.
I thought everyone in family felt loved with Acts of Service too. So I spent a lot of time cooking, cleaning, meal prepping and just doing things for my family. I love to serve others, it’s something that makes me feel good.
But, I realized my daughter doesn’t care if I spend the whole day cleaning and making sure she comes home to an organized house. She needs me to spend time with her. She needs me to hug her and she needs me to surprise her with little gifts now and then.
Finding out our Love Languages was a total game changer!
Be happy.
This tip is sometimes easier said than done. Especially if you struggle with positivity in your life. I’m the first one to admit I struggle with happiness. I can get into bad moods some days and it’s hard to pull out of the negativity.
A lot of days I go back and read my positivity series.
The main thing I remember is to keep things in perspective. I’m in charge of my mood. I’m in charge of the way I handle things and respond to problems. I am responsible for the way I treat others.
You can choose to let go and be happy. Or you can choose to take things personally and be in a bad mood.
You decide.
Be grateful and appreciative.
Every morning think of at least 3 things you are grateful for.
I like to use my Passion Planner and write down at least one good thing that happened every day.
You can also try keeping a gratitude journal.
Let your kids know when they make you proud.
Be your kid’s biggest fan! Don’t just say you are proud, show it too.
Talk about their achievements to your friends and family.
Take them out for a surprise ice cream to celebrate the “A” on that history test.
Celebrate the little things with your kids.
Don’t forget to say thank you and I love you.
Saying “I love you” is easy. Telling our kids “thank you” may not be something we remember to do on a regular basis.
When you say “thank you” and tell your kids you appreciate them, you cultivate a sense of gratefulness that will follow them into adulthood.
I think we can all say we want our kids to be thankful and loving people. We need to show them how to be that way!
WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A GOOD MOM?
Did I leave anything out? Let me know in the comments.
And I want to encourage you to read this book The Be-Attitudes by Karen Elaine Stewart. 
Her book inspired this post and encouraged me to be a better mother, wife and person!
I hope this post was encouraging to you, don’t forget to pin & share 🙂
Do you get the Resource Page?
Each week I'll send you the latest Resource Page. In it, you'll find
- Handy tips for focusing on positivity throughout your week.
- Tricks for getting your kids to listen to your every word (just kidding,Girl-- I'm still working on getting my kids to listen!) But I will send you fun activity ideas for you and your kids to do together.
- Useful tools that I come across, like meal planning ideas and such!
Hi Crystal, this post really resonated with me. I agree with everything—that you have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of your family, you have to be grateful and positive, and you have to say thank you to your kids. Of course, it’s all easier said than done, but it’s all very important. I especially loved the part about finding out your child’s love language. It would be hugely valuable to know exactly what it is that makes my kids (and my husband too) feel loved. I will be checking that out in more detail. Thanks for the great post. I have bookmarked it for future reference : )
Hi Samara, thank you so much for leaving a comment! You’re right it is all easier said than done. In fact, some days keeping positive is SO difficult for me. Finding out YOUR love language and your husband’s and kid’s love languages will be a game changer. And it’s so quick to do. I hope you check that out!
Hi Crystal,
Wow, it was nice to read your reminder that we can’t pour from an empty cup. I also struggle with “being happy” through the daily struggles of motherhood. I’m glad I’m not alone ☺
Thanks!
“If she would have been born first, she’d be an only child.” hilarious 🙂
It is better to not share with anybody what I googling. Parenting is really science. I actually often know what mistakes I’m doing but I simply do not have enough strength to correct them
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