If you are a people pleaser like me then, I'm sure you find yourself trying to help everyone with everything. This is not the way to go about things, you know, trying to take care of problems that are not yours. Life is too short to be worrying about everything. Here are 4 simple ways you can let go of issues and still be a good friend.
Positivity for moms

How To Let Go Of Problems That Are Not Yours

How often do you find yourself worrying about someone else’s problems? For me, it used to be very often.

I am a people-pleaser and want the best for everyone so I would go out of my way to help fix problems. Guess what? It often backfired and left me feeling unappreciated.

Why? Probably because I was sticking my nose in other people’s business trying to solve their problems for them!

I finally realized solving personal problems for everyone is not my job! I can’t be the one who fixes everything because that leaves me overwhelmed.

So, I quit.

I started saying No.

I stopped offering advice.


I think the best advice I ever heard was “don’t give advice unless specifically asked.” That means just because I hear someone complaining about money I shouldn’t run over and tell them how to pay all their bills on time.

I can still be a positive and motivating  example to others, but I don’t have to solve their problems. That’s the freeing part.

 If you are a people pleaser like me then, I'm sure you find yourself trying to help everyone with everything. This is not the way to go about things, you know, trying to take care of problems that are not yours. Life is too short to be worrying about everything. Here are 4 simple ways you can let go of issues and still be a good friend.

When I finally realized that it’s not my job to be the “fixer” I was able to make room for so much more in my life.

To let go of problems that are not yours, you need to understand or do the following:

  1. Worrying for someone else does nothing. Worrying over problems of your own does nothing. I am working on letting go of worry. Do you need to let go of worry too?
  2. Be there as a friend and show support . When someone else has a problem most times they just need someone to listen to their issues. Sit there and listen, don’t offer advice or suggestions unless specifically asked. Just listen.
  3. There are problems and events in life that are going to make you so sad. This is normal. You can be sad. You do eventually have to snap out of it and keep going. Remember that part.
  4. Be positive. Look on the brightside. Listen to happy music and realize that things have a way of working out.

This post is part of my A Year Of Positivity series. Each week I publish one new post that is related to positivity. You can check the last few posts by clicking below. I’d also love for you to sign up for emails, we’ll never spam you! 🙂

Letting go of worrying.

 

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Crystal Mendez

Crystal is a work from home mom who loves to write about home life, living with a demanding toddler and the journey towards debt free living.

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2 Comments

  1. My personality is to be a fixer. I always want things to be the best they can be, whether it’s a situation or a person. So the “don’t give advice unless specifically asked” really resonates home for me! Sometimes my mouth just doesn’t want to shut up. I will really keep that advice in my head moving forward. Thank you!
    Meagan @ Okay Now Breathe recently posted…4 Ways I Help My Mental Health Every MorningMy Profile

    1. Crystal Mendez says:

      Meagan, I think we have the same personality I can relate! I’m such a fixer too but that can create some problems. I heard that advice on a podcast and thought it was so valuable, I’m glad you found it useful as well 🙂

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