Family

Remembering Life On The Day Of The Dead

It’s November 1st. Can you believe it?  I was shocked this morning when the KLOVE morning show told me.

I thought, “holy moly” where did the year go? And how many days are left until Christmas? Oh man. This is crazy.

Today is not only November 1st but, also the Day of the Dead or Dia de los Muertos. A day when we honor and celebrate the lives of our deceased family members. I know it’s supposed to be a happy holiday full of fun memories and festivals, *sigh* but it’s hard.

When I looked around the dinner table tonight I saw the faces of my 5 kids (2 are my nephews) and I felt so sad for them. When I was a kid and even as a young adult I didn’t have to deal with losing anyone close to me. I almost felt like my family was untouchable, invincible. We’d all be okay forever.

I was terribly naive. We lost 2 family members within the last 2 years.james-truck-2

When you lose someone it’s like sadness lives deep inside your bones, it stays theres and waits, it moves with you wherever you go. It will always be there, a heartbroken little piece of you. 

And I feel like that’s okay. I’m allowed to feel sad and heartbroken. I want my kids to know they can feel that way too. Because no matter how much it hurts to remember someone who we’ve lost, I’d rather remember and feel sad than let go of them forever.

Remembering the lives of those we miss can bring on so many emotions.

I smile when I think of the silly song my grandpa would sing for my daughter, a special song, just for her. I cry when I think of it too. Because I know I won’t be hearing him sing it anymore. My grandpa passed away in June of this year.

I’ve tried writing about him a few times. I never finish writing because everything still feels fresh and raw. And I miss him.

During the last few days we’ve talked about funny memories, crazy family stories, and dreams- some of the places our loved ones still live in. I want the kids to be able to process their emotions. I want them to know it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to miss them. And it’s okay to move on.

A Simple Way to Celebrate The Day of the Dead 

This is our first year as a family celebrating Dia de los Muertos. We started out earlier this month by making catrinas. We didn’t do an elaborate altar this year. But I love this one.

We kept it simple.

My nephews lost their dad James almost 2 years ago, today I bought James his favorite drink- a Monster.

I bought my grandpa a BINGO lottery ticket, one of his favorite. I can still see him scratching his tickets. Not believing when we tell him he didn’t win! 🙂

My stepdaughter chose a special bear in memory of her sister.

We talked about these three special people at dinner. We lit a candle with three wicks, one for each person.day-of-the-dead

Sadly, I couldn’t direct the conversation into in-depth memories this year. The recollections were painful and I just wanted to hold it together during dinner.

My kids were happy though. Except the little one. She’s three.

All she wanted to do was blow out the candle. When I told her the candle symbolized a beacon for our loved ones to come find us, she got mad. She said she didn’t want anyone to come over tonight.

She made us all laugh and lightened up the mood. No wonder she was my grandpa’s favorite. 😉

gabby-and-papi

Do you celebrate the Day of the Dead? If yes, tell us what you do in the comments!

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Crystal Mendez

Crystal is a work from home mom who loves to write about home life, living with a demanding toddler and the journey towards debt free living.

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6 Comments

  1. This is so touching. You’re right. I cried a few times today just thinking of my loved ones. It’s so true that our kids should be able to express themselves. You did a great job ..I know getting through it wasn’t easy. Your alter is perfect!! I love the pic of your daughter &grandpa! ❤

    1. Crystal Mendez says:

      Thank you. I loved your altar too! Did you see I linked to yours? 🙂

  2. I’m so glad we are starting to share these traditions with our kids. I had the boys cut out and finger paint skulls today as fun and pretty art to put up with our pictures. We also watched The Book Of Life and that was fun! We talked about making sugar skull cookies for next year and learning to make the traditional Dia De Los Muertos bread.
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    1. Crystal Mendez says:

      I saw your pictures on instagram or facebook I think. I am so glad you were able to share the traditions with your kids. I remember Grandma setting out food and candles but she never completely explained the holiday.

  3. Esperanza says:

    Thanks for writing this. I miss James so terribly and Papito too.

    1. Crystal Mendez says:

      You’re welcome. I love you sister.

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