I noticed an image on Pinterest talking about the hard truths of self-care. I resonated with the post so much and had to write to share my thoughts on self-care and the hard truths you might have to go through too.
1. You will disappoint people when you prioritize self-care
This definitely happens. There will always be a person (or group of people) who have benefited from you NOT prioritizing yourself. Those people aren’t bad people. They are conditioned to your behavior and expect you to keep doing what you have been doing for them.
The most important thing to remember is this: IT’S OKAY TO DISAPPOINT PEOPLE.
2. Self-care often means doing what you don’t feel like doing
True. Self-care isn’t about face masks and massages and lounging around. (Although I do love those as self-care!) Self-care can look like:
- saying no
- eating better
- doing the inner work
- celebrating all of your wins
- organizing and decluttering
- letting yourself feel negative emotions
- taking your daily medication and vitamins
- getting mental health help from a professional
- moving your body every day….get those steps in!
- asking for help even when you hate asking for help
- evaluating relationships and getting out of the ones that aren’t serving you
3. Your boundaries will scare some people away, let them go
This one is tough. Setting boundaries is hard, letting people go is hard. Setting boundaries and enforcing them caused me anguish and anxiety. I felt bad for letting others down. I wish I could go back in time and shake myself and say – it’s all gonna be ok! They get over it and you feel better!
I will say this though, some people won’t get over it. They’ll be pissed you have boundaries.
Please, please, please….respect your boundaries. And respect the boundaries of others! If someone tells you no don’t ask for an explanation because guess what you don’t deserve one! Same thing goes for when you need to say NO – don’t give explanations, you don’t owe anyone explanations. No is a full sentence!
Stick up for yourself. It’s not okay for people to cross your boundaries.
4. You don’t owe anyone your time or emotional support when you need to be giving it to yourself first
Be your own best friend. Take time to process your emotions, let yourself feel and give yourself the emotional support you need. There’s no way you can take on the weight of helping someone else through an emotional time when you haven’t healed yourself first.
You know that friend who only calls you when she’s got a life full of drama to complain about? Yeah, nope, can’t be listening to all her problems when you haven’t taken care of yourself first.
5. Giving from a place of emptiness only leads to resentment
I have felt resentment towards others many time. This is because I spent years neglecting myself and giving to others instead. My cup wasn’t empty – I had no cup! I truly thought during those years that my life was about being a caregiver and making sure everyone around me was okay.
During those years I didn’t take care of my body – bad skin, hated how I looked, ate terrible foods, didn’t see a doctor regularly. And I spent *years* like this and with resentment building up a huge wall inside my brain. Once I started my self-care journal I set boundaries which protected my space and started to dissolve the resentment.
6. Self-care requires letting go
Letting go of people, things, habits and relationships that do not serve you. Knowing when it’s time to let go and then actually stepping away. Ending a relationship, friendship or tie with a family member does not mean you are a bad person. Part of letting go is also knowing people will talk about you – they’ll be wondering why you’ve quit your bad habits or wondering why you can’t hang out anymore. That’s ok! They need to process the end of the relationship as well, you need to remain strong and not worry. Remember: what other people think about you is none of your business.
7. Self-care means being honest with yourself especially when the truth is hard to admit
Admit when you’re wrong. Be open to feedback. Audit your life, what is giving you the most joy? What is giving you the most stress? What can you change?
8. Self-care is hardest to do when you need it most
Self-care is tricky like that. You need it, but you’re exhausted, overwhelmed and not sure where to start. Here’s a starting point: Just Stop.
Stop doing everything for everyone.
Get takeout for dinner. Instead of cooking, go out on a walk to clear your mind. Take things off your to-do list. Nap. Put some lotion on your body. Do a short meditation. Basically take the smallest step towards the right direction, you’ll gain momentum, start to feel better and want to keep on going.
I hope this post is helpful. And remember, self-care matters because YOU matter!
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