Chances are if you’re a working mom you’re bound to feel the guilt at some point. Maybe you missed a school play, a football game, a teacher conference.
Maybe you’re a working mom that’s also going to school and you can’t find the time to fit everything in. Work, raising kids, school and cleaning (ha!) seems impossible.
Chances are you’re probably comparing yourself to some super-mom you know.
You know who I’m talking about. She gets everything done. On Facebook she shares homemade banana chocolate chip bread, on Instagram she’s taking gorgeous pictures of her daughter at a playdate. She tweets about her promotion at work and seems to stay on top of it all!
What she’s probably not sharing is the pile of dishes in her sink, the even higher pile of laundry, the mini-van that’s quite disgusting (on the inside) and she’s also not sharing her insecurities.
Know why? Probably because she doesn’t feel guilty about being a working mom. She’s embraced it! Who cares how high the pile of dishes and laundry gets–she’ll get to them. Everything will get done, things will work out. No need to worry.
How To Stop Feeling Guilty For Being A Working Mom
- Stop comparing yourself. The path you’ve chosen is completely different from anyone else. Your goals are not the same as anyone else. So instead of comparing yourself, feeling inadequate and spiraling into a bad mood–acknowledge the differences we all have and celebrate those differences. You’re a mom. Your kids absolutely adore you and can’t wait to spend time with you. Instead of giving them bad-mood-mom give them that mom they adore.
- @Work. When you’re at work, work. Be the best at your job. Bring enthusiasm, positivity, a fresh perspective. Don’t complain about everything you are missing out on at home.
- @Home. When you’re at home be at home. Talk, listen and play with your kids. Ask them about their day. Go for walks, bike rides, make dinner together. Help them get prepped for the next day. Let them clean with you, do crafts or read a book together. The quality time is what makes a huge difference. Quality vs. Quantity. What good is it to spend hours with my kids if I’m not paying attention to them?
- Think positive. Being a positive person is not easy, I know. But, if you start keeping a positive outlook it can really change your life. You can stop worrying so much and realize things will work out. It may not be the way we want them to go but things will work themselves out.
- Embrace your lifestyle. You’re probably a working mom for one of two reasons: you need to keep the bills paid or you love your job. Maybe both. For me it’s both. I have a passion for the nursing field and I need to pay those bills! Accept that. It’s nothing to be ashamed about! I have enough love and drive to raise my kids right and be passionate about my job. And I’m sure you do too.
Bonus Tip For Working Moms
Just say “No” and don’t feel guilty. Seriously. I used to be such a people-pleaser and it sucked! I would overwhelm myself to make everyone else happy and that was not OK.
- No, I cannot work an extra shift this week.
- No. I cannot babysit your kid on my only day off.
- No, I cannot volunteer for the school carnival, but I can donate some cash!
- No, I cannot cook a casserole for the church function but you can sign me up to bring chips and salsa.
Say “no” to extra demands so you have time to say “yes” when it really counts. And you’ll be less stressed out and crunched for time. And don’t feel sorry for saying “no.” This is your life, your time. You do what you want to do and you don’t need to apologize for keeping your priorities straight.
Being a working mom is not easy. There are days you’ll hate your job. Days you’ll be disgusted with your home –why can’t it stay clean!!!!
You will cry.
You will laugh.
You will wonder if you’re doing things right.
My advice? Find that balance. Use the tips and drink some good wine, sister. You CAN do this.
Do you have any tips for working moms? What’s the last thing you said “no” to?
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This was beautiful! I don’t work outside of home, so I can’t completely relate to missing out on everything, but I do feel guilty when my toddler is trying to get my attention and I’m telling him we can’t do it now. I thought working from home would be easier, but it can be challenging when you have the time and freedom to do whatever, whenever you want, but at the same time, you don’t.
Other moms in my family work outside of home and it’s hard for someone like me to tell them to not feel guilty, ect. So I will be sure to show this to them because I think it’ll be very helpful! 🙂
Thank you for commenting! I also work from home (and outside the home) and it’s challenging, I can relate!