What Happens When You Can’t Stand Your Kids?

Do you remember the first time you saw your baby? The feeling you felt. For me, the feeling was almost magical. Here I was in so much pain but just one glimpse at my beautiful baby boy and I felt giddy.

Becoming a mother was life-changing and pretty amazing!

Let’s keep it real though, being a mother is not glamorous and perfect. It’s far from it. So what happens when you can’t stand your kids?

Gasp! Yes, I said it.

There are days when I can’t stand my kids.

Don’t lie, you feel the same way!

Let’s not get off track here because I know some people will be totally offended.

I’m not saying I don’t love my kids. I’m not saying you don’t love your kids. All I’m saying is that during all the years of parenting, we’re going to come across days when we don’t like our kids.

I’ve come across it. If you looked at my previous google searches you may see “I can’t stand my 3 year old” Yes, I googled that. (My mom’s going to be so mad at me!)

I was desperate. My 3 yr old is like no other. I’m the oldest of 5 girls, I had a son, a stepdaughter and helped take care of 8 nephews before I had my youngest daughter, and none of them prepared me for her. None of them. 

That specific google search helped me find tons of moms that felt the same way. While reading through the forums and posts I found I saw that some moms just needed to vent and some moms were offering advice (thank you!) like parenting books and websites to check out.

Finding out I wasn’t the only one (about 95,900,000 results) struggling with a 3 year old really helped me.

Our world is online now, but we still struggle to share transparency. All over instagram I see pictures of perfectly posed children, beautiful parties and delicious meals. Hey, I like sharing the best of my life too. There’s nothing wrong with that.

This post is just my little bit of transparency: I love being a mother and there are days I don’t like my kids. I always love them though. No matter what.

I accept that there will be days I won’t be able to stand my kids. I won’t like their actions and attitudes. I won’t like when they lie. I won’t like when the threenager is mad because I stopped her from trying to beat up her brother, or run into the road, or throw her dinner plate off the table. (All true stories I may add.)

Being able to accept this truth leaves me feeling less guilty when those days come around. I know I still love them. I just don’t like them right this minute.

Here are some resources and ideas to check out when you feel like this #momlife thing just isn’t working out:

• Parenting with Love and Logic
• 1-2-3 Magic
• Drink a margarita or a glass o’wine while making dinner.
• Take your kids out. I find letting her burn off energy at the park is better than her running around demolishing the house.
• Pay a babysitter and get yourself out of the house. Meet up with a friend or get your nails done.
• Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.
• Exercise.
• Grab an Ipad. I’m not gonna judge you if your kid has too much screen time. If you need a break dear, you need a break!
• Find someone to confide in.

I’ve personally been struggling the most with finding my identity as a stepmother and with patience for all 5 kids. What helps me the most is having friends who will listen to me vent and either just be an ear, or provide practical advice or encouragement. It’s nice to feel like I am not alone and to know that someone notices I’m doing my best and doesn’t judge me.

If you are struggling like me, find a friend to talk to.

If you know someone who is struggling with motherhood, be that friend.

I think the most important thing to remember is that being a mother is a million different things. It’s messy and gooey. It’s funny and beautiful. It’s heartbreaking and oh so frustrating. Being a mom is what we make of it.

I love being a mother and I’m determined to seek out the positivity even on the bad days.

This post is part of my series A  Year of Positivity. Last week we talked about What To Do When You Feel Sad During The Holiday Season Come back next Tuesday for the latest post in this series or better yet sign up for the newsletter so you never miss an encouraging post!

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