My husband is transitioning from his career in the military, but isn’t working yet. We need a supplemental income, so we’ve decided that I look for work while he pursues changing career paths. We have a 5yo in kindergarten, a 3 yo and an infant. I’ve been offered two jobs. One is full time at minimum wage at a child development center working in the infant room. I would be able to have my youngers attend the center at little cost. I would be finished working in time to pick up the kindergartner and be home in the evenings. Yet, the second job sounds so good for me. I would work 20 hours a week, but make more money overall. The catch is the second job is 4-8pm Monday-Friday because I would be developing an after-school program. So that would mean being gone every weeknight evening. I feel really torn between what to do. We need a second income but one job would be full-time and require me to pay for some child care while the second I would work only part-time hours and make more money. What should I do? Is it too much to be gone every evening? My husband is a good dad, but making dinner and doing baths and bedtime every night might be a lot.
Here’s my take:
- I have to prep/cook dinner by 2pm this way it’s ready for my husband and kids
- You’ll miss eating dinner with your kids and husband
- You’ll have some clean up after work unless your hubby is a beast and can manage dinner, cleaning, bath time and bed time!
You and your husband need to sit down and establish your goals. If you need more money to get out of debt or for your current lifestyle then perhaps the job that makes the most money makes sense, you’ll just have to sacrifice the time with your family to complete your goal. That’s okay and that happens.
Envision your future and realize that this is temporary, that’s how I got through my full time evening job. I knew it wasn’t a forever thing. And honestly, I would never have done it if I was away from home during the evenings. I was blessed to be able to work from my home office so I could take breaks to sneak in bed time kisses and clean up the kitchen before the end of my shift.
Establish clear roles for yourself and your husband. If you do take the evening job let him know what that he needs to be able to handle, the bed time, dinner and bath time. Make sure he is comfortable with taking this on and figure out ways to help-prepping dinner in advance, offering to do all the clean up after work, etc. I think setting clear roles will reduce fights on who is supposed to be doing what. I have recently reduced the amount of evening hours I work and now enjoy the week nights home with my kids and husband. I am grateful though, that the evening hours worked for that season in our family life.
What do you think, can you offer some advice to this mama?
Check out what the Ask Away Thursday blogging team came up with here:
Nikki –Healingmamaremedies.com
Rachel-Don’t Call Me Supermom
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I work part-time from home as well. I have some flexibility with my hours but evenings are often when I am still awake enough to work and after husband is home to focus on the kiddo. He resents it sometimes, so I try to do most of it after he goes to bed, but he tries to be helpful with dishes and dinner. I just have to remember to give him some good quality attention too.
Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven Not Harvard recently posted…Which job is right for me? Ask Away Thursday
Jen, I know what you mean. My husband’s love language is quality time so I try hard to focus on him!
I think it’s great that you and your husband work together as a team. And you’re right it’s not forever so if a certain job helps this family more go for it!
I always love your advice and how realistic it is. Sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done. I really like the 4-8 hour job, just seem like it could work out great!
Monica recently posted…Ask Away Thursday : Which Job Is Right For Me?
Your perspective as a working mom gave me some things to think about. I’ve always been here for the bedtime routine, doing it entirely on my own many nights, so I guess I take it for granted. I’m really glad you found a job where you can work from your home office in the evenings, and have the ability to check in on the kids & clean up a little bit from dinner too. You gave some really good advice!
Thanks Marisa! I still miss out on bed times 2x per week but it’s better than 4 nights or more per week!
I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I’ve been the one working 80-90 hours a week to make ends meet while basically someone else raised my kid.
I have also been on the side where I’m working from home while juggling three kids.
Regardless, if you have to earn the income, I would go with the job that makes you happy first and foremost. I’d also pursue the one that is going to provide you the most income for your time spent away from the family.
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Good point Crystal! I took a job recently that is outside the home precisely because it provided me with a higher income, and since we are in debt paying mode the higher income makes the most sense. It’s hard to work from home for me with my toddler, can’t imagine how you do so with three kiddos! Thank you for stopping by!
wow..i automatically gravitated towards the less hours more pay job..but as you have rightly said, there are a lot more to the equation than that! Great advice!
That is such a tough decision. It sounds as if you really want the 20 hr a week job, but feel the full time job is a better choice. I agree you really have to discuss with your husband. Getting 3 kiddos fed, bathed & ready for bed alone is tough for anyone. I wish you the best & am so glad you shared at #HomeMattersParty
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