I have personally struggled with the vicious cycle of shame and regret. Here’s what happens: I’ll get into a good groove in my life and then one day I’ll randomly start thinking about everything I’ve done that I regret. Does this ever happen to you?
Then, I remember the person I used to be when I did those things and the shame washes over my body like a wave.
Suddenly, I’m drowning in past regrets and feeling unworthy.
I’ve worked to find ways out of this cycle. Today I want to share a powerful tool I use to break the cycle of shame and regret.
Here are 3 signs that you could be a victim of the shame and regret cycle.
First, you let the past carry on into the “now.”
Do you find yourself regularly beating yourself up for things you’ve done in the past? You might think about something you did in your 20’s or as a teen and still feel shame.
That shame bleeds into your present day mindset and robs you of peace.
Second, you can’t let the shame and regret go.
Do you find it hard to focus on positivity because you still have so much shame and regret in your life?
You might be falling asleep thinking about things you regret and waking up feeling full of shame.
Third, you let shame and regret hold you back.
Instead of feeling inspired to take action and grab new opportunities, you hold yourself back. The shame of your “past transgressions” blinds you from seeing your worth.
So you don’t feel worthy.
You don’t feel capable.
You don’t feel confident.
Your mind might even say, “Who am I to ________?” (Fill in the blank with your goals: write a book, start a blog, start a podcast, ask for a raise, etc.)
Are you a victim of the shame and regret cycle?
If you are, don’t worry. It is still not too late! You can still turn things around now.
Try this: Forgive yourself!
Of course, it is easier said than done, but it CAN be done.
I learned about Ho’oponopono (a practice of forgiveness) one year ago. It’s been a powerful tool in clearing blocks in my personal life.
Write out these words: I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you on a sheet of paper.
Next, write out every single thing you feel ashamed about, regretful for, or angry about.
All of it. Start with your earliest memory and scan your lifetime. Include each moment that makes you feel less than worthy.
When you’re finished with your list, read each memory/moment out loud and then say “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you,” after.
Tip – do this when you are alone. This practice is very emotional and personal and will most likely bring you to tears. Cry, feel all of your feelings and let yourself grieve and process.
After you’ve gone through your list, tuck it away someplace safe. Come back daily and repeat the process.
After a few days of going through this emotional clearing you’ll notice your emotional reaction dissolving. This is progress! Once your memories don’t hold a painful reaction you can let them go!
After a few weeks of daily practice I was ready to let go of my list. I ripped the sheet into shreds and was able to move forward. I hope you can do the same!
Please remember: your past is not your future.
Please pin and share!
Do you get the Resource Page?
Each week I'll send you the latest Resource Page. In it, you'll find
- Handy tips for focusing on positivity throughout your week.
- Tricks for getting your kids to listen to your every word (just kidding,Girl-- I'm still working on getting my kids to listen!) But I will send you fun activity ideas for you and your kids to do together.
- Useful tools that I come across, like meal planning ideas and such!
