I went back home after being away for 13 years. In the weeks and days leading up to the trip I had so much turmoil and drama going on in my brain. I think my feelings and anxiety were going back into the person I was before I moved away. That girl didn’t have her shit together she had no idea what she was doing. That girl, back then, felt so helpless and stuck and couldn’t see her way out.
I think I spent some time judging the past me and that also gave me a lot of anxiety. Even though I I know that’s not who I am anymore. We grow up, change and hopefully it’s the good change. The grown-up change. The I’m a more -patient/loving/present -person kind of change.
I felt like I needed a release like I needed to drive around and just cry.
I did find time to drive around alone but I never cried. I drove around and visited the different places I lived in and I remembered the fun times , the cookouts, the family over and hanging out with friends and all the good pieces of my childhood.
I was able to focus on the happiness and even when the not so happy memories came up I was able to process the past and let it go.
I felt good about the me in the now and I forgave the me in the past.
I thought I was going to go back and want to leave as soon as I got there. Now I’m planning when to go back next and what we’re going to do then. How special it was to take time to visit my family and my friends (who are like family) and just be with them.
I don’t know why I stayed away for so long. I know how precarious life is. I know how in a blink of an eye, your whole life can change.
This trip reminded me how much love stays in a family no matter how spread apart they are.
You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with. So be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down.
As your life changes so does your circle and that’s okay. It’s normal. No need to resist the change. Resisting causes resentment, anxiety and fear.
- Value your mental health.
- Spend time with people who respect boundaries.
- Be respectful of the boundaries set by others.
- Set your heart close to people who feel easy and will let you be exactly who you are right now.
- And when things feel heavy, let them go.
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13 years away? Dang, I thought I was bad about going back home once like every 5 years. haha. Hopefully the good memories can overpower the not so good ones and you will won’t wait so long next time.
It sounds like this was wonderful, even if it was an emotional, trip. Michigan is so beautiful!
Looks like a fun time, a.m. to p.m.! Glad you got out!
Good for you for being able to go back after 13 years and feel “at home.” What a great story and it’s true, there is love, no matter the distance or time away.