Self-care for mental health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or burdened, this post is for you.
As a little girl I learned to place the needs of others above my own. What I wanted or needed always came second to what I perceived my parents or siblings needed from me. I took on being the “responsible” one for my family and the title weighed heavily on my heart. I found it hard to say no and definitely found it hard to ask for help.
Back then, I didn’t think there was a way out from being the responsible one, the one having to be there for everyone else, but not having the same support in return. I was the one bailing out family members financially, I was the always at home babysitter, even when I didn’t want to be. I was taken advantage of so many times.
Is your story similar to mine? Have you ever felt like there is no way out from being the nice one? Is it hard to speak up for yourself?
If you can relate to my story you most likely need self-care for mental health. These are the 4 things that helped me overcome feeling overwhelmed, not taking caring of myself and led me to loving who I am as a person, inside and out.
Setting boundaries = self love
The biggest issue in my teens and 20’s was me not setting boundaries. I would say Yes when I really wanted to say No. I would set boundaries in my head and never bother to enforce them with others.
I believe there are 2 hard parts about boundaries: figuring out when you need to create one and then actually enforcing the boundary.
If you can’t think of a boundary issue in your life, think back to a day or time when you felt taken advantage or were left doing something you really didn’t want to do. Most of the time boundaries need to be set when we feel like we were guilt tripped into doing something.
The second part, the enforcement of the boundary may be the hardest for you. Enforcing boundaries can make us feel rude, insensitive, or mean. And the people who benefit the most from our lack of boundaries are in for a rude awakening. Stick to it, you’ll feel icky and sad, and you’ll feel like giving in. Don’t. Stick to your boundaries.
Boundaries are a form of self-love. You are saying you love yourself enough to stop getting into situations that create drama in your life.
Processing emotions
Processing emotions, letting yourself actually feel the hurt, anger, or sadness and not beating yourself up over feeling this way is so important. When emotions are bottled up they create a stress in our bodies, we carry that stress into our everyday life, and it keeps building and building.
Instead let yourself feel – do the ugly cry, the burn book journaling, the screaming. Let the emotions out, and don’t feel bad about it.
On the other side of the spectrum, let yourself feel the good emotions too. Too often, we don’t take little wins seriously. We don’t celebrate life enough. Make time to feel happy or joyful and carefree, instead of just moving on to the next task or goal.
Let go of imposter syndrome
It’s the voice in your head that says you’re not good enough, you’ll never understand, you don’t belong in this space. Have you ever had thoughts like those? This my friend, is imposter syndrome.
I felt imposter syndrome when I started a new career about 4 years ago. The scope of the work was outside my expertise and I felt so defeated for probably about 2 months. Thankfully, I realized everyone has to start somewhere, even being a “newbie” and I stuck with the work.
Imposter syndrome can hit you anywhere in life: in school, in a relationship, at work, in a club/group setting.
I think the main way to combat imposter syndrome is by knowing it will show up, especially when there is newness in your life. Instead of being blindsided, you’ll be able to process imposter syndrome thoughts, know those thoughts are not the truth and stick to your learning/new job/new relationship.
Book suggestions for working on imposter syndrome, boundaries and self-love.
Self-care for mental health is just as important as self-care for our physical bodies. I hope this post is helpful, don’t forget to pin and share!
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Imposter syndrome is such a hard one to overcome. Like you said it shows up in multiple areas of life. I’m currently job hunting and it makes me question if I am capable of doing these jobs and if I deserve the salary. Great tips!